i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
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headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
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Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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