I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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