My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
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As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
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So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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