Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just gift wrapped bread.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
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