guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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