If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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