Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize