Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize