i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize