He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize