is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize