Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
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Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
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And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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