I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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