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I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
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