One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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