im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize