So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
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