I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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