never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize