There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
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Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
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We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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