you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
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