Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
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I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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