My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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