If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
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It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
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Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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