Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize