i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
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The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
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sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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