I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
you inspire me to be a worse person
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize