I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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