im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
thus making me awesome and them whores
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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