Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize