If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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