Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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