You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
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I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
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LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
we're so committed to being not committed
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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