Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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