I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize