but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
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You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
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Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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