my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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