I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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