I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize