cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
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I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
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It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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