I hate your face
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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