in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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