Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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