i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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