Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize