tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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