I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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