Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
my being single is dangerous.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
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We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
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You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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