I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize