i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
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I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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